I’m posting this story about the Tanger Outlet Center possible delay at the Arrowhead Development because of what Mayor Glendel Stephenson says is coming to downtown. (Drum roll) An independent pharmacy. Woo-hoo. Party time. Somebody put on Kool & The Gang’s “Celebration” and do the Robot.
Why do I have a feeling it will go where Market on Clay Street once stood seeing that that building used to house a drugstore. Seriously, does downtown need another pharmacy?
I saw a sad sign Saturday. It said “Going Out Of Business” and it was hanging in front of the Market On Clay in Mebane.
Apparently, the building that houses the food specialty has been sold and the Market’s owner, Mark Edwards, was unable to buy the building. Funny, I thought the bad economy would have done the Market in or maybe the sell of the building is another product of the recession.
Either way, downtown Mebane is losing a great place that had a wonderful wine selection, a great lunch menu, and homemade brownies from heaven.
A smart business person would be wise to fill the void that the Market’s absence will create downtown.
Hopefully, the new owner of the building has a great plan for the space. If another antique dealer, storefront chruch, bar or Italian eatery opens in that space then I will officially declare the revitalization of downtown Mebane over.
Personally, I would like to see a cool thrift store, a restaurant or another store like the Market go into that space. Let’s face it, Clay Street needs some more retail diversity.
Anyway, sad to see Mark and the Market go. The store is having a clearance sale for the next couple weeks so go and buy something or just say “thanks” to Mark.
Mebane City Council will meet April 6 to discuss a plan to tighten rules on digital signs in the city. The proposal would ban the use of full animation or motion signs.
Council member Patty Phillips believes these types of signs give Mebane a cheap, Las Vegas strip look.
Personally, the signs don’t bother me that much. They are no more offensive than the standard double-arches of McDonald’s or the monolithic Sheetz sign on Mebane Oaks Road that is visible from Pilot Mountain. If Mebane is going to ban digital signs then why not ban all signs. By now, if you don’t know what a McDonald’s or a gas station looks like without a sign then you’re hopeless and probably have no business driving in the first place.
The bigger issue, I think, is safety. Motion signs can be distracting to drivers. I have found myself staring far too long at motion signs just trying to figure out what they are advertising.
I propose at least making the signs closer to the ground and smaller like some other cities have done. Drive into Chapel Hill down MLK Boulevard and see for yourself. It makes the town look cleaner and less cluttered.
I will admit that I have a weakness for the Mebane First Savings and Loan sign on Center Street during the summer because of the animated dancing sun that promotes “Hot deals!” The sun does a little “Egyptian” jig and looks like it has just gotten back from a lost weekend Buffet concert. A drunken parrothead sun! And why is it wearing sunglasses? Probably just hiding its plasma-shot eyes. Plus, the sign lets me know the temperature and how late I am to work.
A headline in last week’s Alamance News caught my attention. No, not the five deck, wordy one about deputies resigning after a Las Vegas trip. The main headline that said “Churches vs. bars in downtown Mebane” is the one.
You can play Madlibs with that headline because it is a manufactured debate that, I believe, is being pushed by a downtown Mebane business owner and a certain city councilman. You could just as easily have had “Interdimensional squid dealers vs. bars” as the headline.
I can see the argument that the downtown business district may have one too many bars for a town the size of Mebane but to marry that issue with a ban on storefront churches is ridiculous and stinks of self-righteous “Christians” trying to ram their beliefs down the throats of others.
According to the story, the owner of a tanning salon is upset that a businessman is planning a sports bar next to her salon. She never says what her worry is but I am guessing she thinks that somebody is going to have a couple of beers in the daytime at the sports bar and then will stumble out to the sidewalk and accost her customers or the children that go to the dance studio next door. Because, as you may or may not know, this happens all the time in downtown Mebane. I mean, sometimes it is hard to navigate yourself down the sidewalk of Clay Street while the sun is still up without having to step over all the drunks laying around.
Please.
Not to say tht crime never happens in downtown Mebane. Just look at the police blotter and you’ll usually have someone holding up an insurance agency, stealing a bike in front of a store, or someone breaking into businesses in the early morning hours. Some of the bars in downtown Mebane do get calls. Usually late at night when young adults full of Jager and Red Bull feel like playing Rock ‘Em, Sock ‘Em Robots with one another. Show me a town where that doesn’t happen and I’ll show you a map of that fantasyland.
Now, a certain city councilman has decided to add the ban on storefront churches to the debate. Apparently, Mebane doesn’t allow these facilities in the business district.
This is where I will digress into a little Business 101 lecture that maybe the councilman can understand:
A business district is an area of town, usually a downtown area, where businesses, i.e. antique shops, restauarants, gourmet food shops, tanning salons, and bars, set up shop in order to provide services and/or goods to the public. In return, these businesses hope to make a little profit and provide for their families. In addition, these businesses pay taxes.
Storefront churches are not businesses, presumably nonprofit and do not pay taxes. Oh, and they’re usually only open one day a week. Guess which day?
I had to laugh when the Alamance News’ editorial sided with the pro-storefront church Taliban when it said that storefront churches help downtown’s viability more than vacant buildings.
REALLY!
I dare Tom Boney or the councilman or anyone who think that storefront churches add to a business district to travel to towns in a 50-mile radius of Mebane to see just how aesthetically pleasing storefront churches are to your eyes. Or to see how these downtowns are thriving. From ones I’ve seen in my hometown of Danville, Va., they all have the same spartan look of a 1950s dentist office, a communist party headquarters, or a smalltown weekly newspaper. The places I’ve seen all have the same hand-painted, misspelled signs.
Look, the revitalization of downtown Mebane is a shining example that such things can happen. Mebane’s is still in its infancy, in my opinion. Plans continue for the White Furniture building to be converted into apartments. The hope is is that young and middle-aged professionals will see a thriving downtown Mebane and will want to live nearby and spend there money there. Trust me, they will want to go to restaurants or bars that serve alcohol. They are not going to say “Hmmm, I think I’ll move near the business district because of all of these storefront churches. I’ve got to get my tithe on!”
If Mebane does have one too many bars, then the market will judge that. So far, the market has allowed for three private club bars, and a martini bar to survive and even thrive. The guy who is trying to open the sports bar is trying to quiet the hysteria by saying his place will be laid back and will not be open on Sundays because he said in one of the stories that that is “God’s time.” I have a little advice for him: If he doesn’t want to be fitting his windows for “Out of Business” signs, then he will want to most certainly be open on Sundays. Football! Hello?
I must say though if the city does allow storefront churches then I do not want to hear a word from these people when an Islamic or Kabbalic center opens.
N.C. A&T women warmed up a cold evening.
I can’t say I am numero uno fan of parades because I grew up in Danville where the parade is just an endless procession of emergency vehicles, marching bands and car salesmen driving the latest pieces of junk from Detroit.
Or maybe it is because, as a Cub Scout, I had to march in those things. The thing I notice nowadays? Cub Scouts do not march in parades.
BEST COSTUMES: Hands down, the women from the A & T Marching Band wearing the short “Santa’s Helpers” outfits with the Santa hats. My wife was embarrassed by my drooling.
Whatever became of Kenny G?
Fellini Award (Tie):
Half of this award goes to the inexplicable clown playing the saxophone. I asked him to play some Coltrane. Instead, he played an unrecognizable Christmas song.
The other winner was the float full of science fiction and comic book heroes and villains. Who knew Darth Vader was a Christian? I had images of a Nativity scene float done with Star Wars characters: Amadala and Annikin (pre-Vader) as Mary and Joseph, Luke and Leia as the babies Jesus; three wise Jedis, Yoda, Obi Won and Qui; the Death Star as the Star of Bethlehelm. Darth Vader would be better in a Passion Play as a Roman centurian, Pontius Pilate or Caiphus.
The Praying Mantis Owners for Peace entry.
Strangest Encounters Award (Tie):
Heed my words: Don’t ever yell “Hey Cary Dale!” and follow it with a “WOOOOOO!” to a certain state representative as he drives an old green car in a parade. For he will give you the peace sign, the thumbs up and then later on in the evening will COME TO FIND YOU. Which is what he did to me. I told him my name and that I was with the Times-News and that seemed to be the end of that conversation. I told him “Merry Christmas” and did not get a reply.
Luckily, I missed Sheriff Johnson. Otherwise, I’d be down in McAllen, Texas, waiting to cross the border in an ICE bus and everyone would be calling me Jose Hurne’.
Sharing the award with Allred is a man with one name: Killer. No, not Jerry Lee Lewis. Not O.J. Not a member of the Charlestown Chiefs hockey team. Killer barged into the men’s room at the Clay Street Tavern while I was in there. Let’s just say he had to relieve himself real bad. I asked what his name was and he said “Killer!” and laughed maniacally.
The guy who owns this car is a hero of mine.
Best Entries:
Putting the A&T women aside for a second, this award goes to the Heelraiser. I love that car. Also, The AMRAN “Hillbillies” are always good for a laugh with their ramshackled vehicles and misspelled words. They really make the Mebane parade something special.
The Mebane Christmas Parade? Or just another Saturday night in Fuquay-Varina.
After Santa passed by in his sled, we returned to Clay Street Tavern where I did my traditional bartop-synthisizer/tamborine playing to Gary Numan’s “Cars.” ‘Tis the season!
All photos by Shannon Jackson.
I meant to add this a while back. This is an article from the Independent Weekly out of the Triangle about the proposed Buckhorn Village project. If you know anything about the Independent, then you know that it is unabashedly liberal. However, this is worth a read just to get an idea of why Orange County leaders aren’t too hot on the project. It balances the developers’ “pie in the sky” projections for jobs and tax revenue. Plus, it asks one question that has always bothered me about the plan: Who does want to live above a store overlooking asphalt in the middle of nowhere?
I received 
a MySpace bulletin today from Laurie Feamster, co-owner of the Clay Street Tavern, that her husband Jeff and her had sold their establishment. The new owner is Wendy. Didn’t catch her last name but she seems cool.
They were there today to say goodbye. On the jukebox, I played some Warren Zevon and Tom Waits. Those were the first selections I played when I stepped into their place back in the summer of 2005.
The good news is that Laurie and her husband Jeff are staying in the area. Great people.
Cheers to Laurie and Jeff on their future plans. I hope to see them around more often outside of the Tavern.
Also, I welcome Wendy and her parents. I look forward to a new friendship.
You know you’re at a small-town festival when the first sign you see reads “Funnel Cake.”
Quite a crowd of families and teenagers came out Friday night for the 20th Annual Mebane Dogwood Festival.
The scene reminded me of my teen years attending Festival In The Park in Danville. It was a sprawling event that takes place in Ballou Park every May. It was the closest thing to a fitness program that the city ever came up with for the simple fact that you had to constantly hike to get to different areas. Thirsty? Let’s turn around and head up to the food area. Want to see some arts and crafts? Let me do some stretching first. Want to go try to win a Journey mirror from the crooked carnie? Get on your walking shoes.
However, the festival’s sprawl ended in the late ’80s thanks to one man, Geraldo Rivera and one incident on his TV show.
After that show, a rumor ran like wildfire through the Danville community that, get this, satanic skinheads riding in limosines were looking to abduct blonde hair, blue-eyed girls from the festival. Needless to say, many parents wouldn’t allow their Sun-In dyed hair and blue contacts-wearing daughters to go to the festival.
From then on, the festival’s size was scaled back and most of the booths were set up along the park’s main road.
By the way, another “ripped from the headlines” rumor started in 1992 after the L.A. riots. Something about black gangs shooting, you guessed it, blonde hair and blue-eyed girls.
The Dogwood Festival on Friday night was sparsely populated with booths. Plenty of people showed up to see Mason Lovette. I have to confess that I never did hear the band play. Part of the reason was that I was busy walking around and the other part is that everytime I went near the stage, it sounded like a song was ending or they were tuning up.
I did see the guitarist from the best punk/hard rock band ever from Danville (C.O.D.) taking money from children at a carnival game booth. He should remember the Festival In The Park in 1992 where his band stirred up a mosh pit that caused the Danville police to swarm in and nearly started a teenage riot.
We returned to the Dogwood Festival around noon Saturday to see a totally transformed event. Booths lined both sides of Clay Street.
My wife saw a pocket book booth that pulled her in like a Death Star tractor beam. We bought some homemade Indian bracelets. We watched some cloggers and some kids try to break dance on the asphalt. Ouch! Puppets waved and yelled ”bye” to our lost souls from a ministry kiosk.
I have two problems with the festival however. The first is that it is was nearly impossible to walk down Clay Street because of the volume of people. Organizers may want to consider spreading things out because you cannot stop to look at items nor can you speak with someone lest you create a traffic jam of people. The other problem is that there needs to be a green space for the bands to play on. No one wants to sit on asphalt to watch a beach band in the middle of an 85-degree day.
To beat the heat, we took refuge in Clay Street Tavern and Dick & Jane’s. Red Oak and peach martinis taste good on a hot day.
We missed the “Mayberry Memories” stage show but “Barney” and “Gomer” were roaming around the festival. My wife was able to get Barney to say “Nip it in the bud.”
The Ribfest was confusing and a tad disappointing. I was under the impression that the rib cookers would offer their fare for sale. Instead, the public was invited to sample the food so it wasn’t a total loss. I just wish I could have had more because that meat was plumb falling off the bone. I had to settle for full rib and barbecue fixes from Smokin’ Joe’s and A&M Grill’s booths.
There was one booth that made the biggest impression upon us. It was a man singing karaoke-style gospel music behind a table with stacks of homemade CDs that resembles the Sierra Nevadas. He was singing when we first walked by his booth and, four hours later, was still singing. Windell Capel was in the middle of an anti-alcohol tune when we approached his booth. He had props including an empty six-pack of Michelob bottles set up among the tons of compact discs. We asked him which CD was the best and he sang to us which one was the greatest, the CD entitled “They Don’t Live Here Anymore.” He sang to us the “Buy 2, get 2 free” special and even sang while he signed the photo shown above.
We went home and put on the CD. The title track tells of our hero going to the “drug house,” the “liquor house,” and the “welfare office.”
Bring on the Alamance County Fair.
Mebane will hold its annual Dogwood Festival beginning Friday. It will be the first one I will be able to attend in the three years I have lived in Mebane.
Last year, I was drafted to DJ at the Clay Street Tavern under my alter-ego DJ Boomer Boom.
I had a grand plan to enter through the back entrance of the Tavern at around 7 p.m. to “Ecstasy of Gold” with strobe lights and a fog machine rolling, draped in garb straight out of a Parliament/Funkadelic concert. Then I would climb into the booth and lay down some blunted up G-Funk for the next four hours that would make DJ Shadow trash his turntables.
The reality is that I ended up taking requests from the regulars to hear Bocephus, Skynyrd, Bocephus singing Skynyrd, Billy Squier and Zeppelin. I was able to slip in some Flaming Lips, Husker Du and even “Shake Your Rump” by the Beastie Boys.
This year I’ll actually make it outside to see what the festival has to offer and finally hear what that Mason Lovette Band is all about. Plus, there is a something called “Memories of Mayberry.” From what I can gather, it is Barney Fife and Gomer Pyle impersonators. Fine, “Gomer” just better not break out into “Help Me Make It Through The Night.”
Click here to find out more information about the Dogwood Festival. See y’all there!
It was good to see members of the Orange County Board of Commissioners grill the developer of the proposed Buckhorn Village in a recent Times-News story. The project still has a ton of question marks hovering over it.
I’m kind of torn about the project: On the one hand I like the possibility of having a movie theater or restaurants merely three miles away from me. Then again, I don’t like the idea of not being able to see stars at night because of the streetlights that will probably accompany such project.
Well, listen up developer. You want my blessing? Here’s my demands:
Restaurants
Eastern Alamance and western Orange is exhausted with Chinese and Mexican restaurants. What we need is an Indian eatery. And a 24-hour place at that. I mean, why should the Iron Skillet be my only option at 3 a.m.? And why do I have to drive to Chapel Hill or Durham to get my Indian fix? This area is screaming for such a place.
Also, I want a 24-hour Allen & Son restaurant. Nothing too fancy, of course. A table, a bottle of sauce, a smoker, an iced tea maker and some of that proof-of-god’s-existence barbecue. If Allen says no then go after the Barbecue Joint guy.
Retail stores
Where Cabela’s is suppose to go, I want a record store. A record store so big and extensive that there would be places to camp out at in between rows. A trip to the record store would require a couple days off from work. The store would stock original, pristine copies of Blue Cheer and The Godz albums for no more than $12 and not the $30 repressings on 180 grams of vinyl.
A video rental store that stocks nothing but trashy B-movies and horror films from the 50s-70s. This would have to be a 24-hour place as well because who knows when I may want to have a Russ Meyer film festival at my house?
Movie Theater
Fine, have your 12-screen Olympus Mon of theaters, BUT three screens have to be set aside:
One screen would have to show classic movies that I never got to see on big screen: “The Godfather,” all Kubrick, Ed Wood, Russ Meyer, Billy Jack and Scorcese films, “Spinal Tap,” “Citizen Kane,” “Xanadu”…oh, wait, I saw that one.
The second screen would be dedicated to music films such as “The Last Waltz,” “Isle of Wight,” “Gimme Shelter” and “Woodstock.” State of the art sound equipment needed and plenty o’ volume.
And as a public service, the third screen would be a continous loop of “Up In Smoke,” “Reefer Madness,” “Dune” and “Gus,” the 1976 movie about a field-goal kicking mule. This screen will keep stoners busy and off the streets.
