Buckhorn Village of the Darned (Pt. II) or Gimme masala or gimme ‘cue!
April 11th, 2008, 6:39 am · Post a Comment · posted by jjurney
It was good to see members of the Orange County Board of Commissioners grill the developer of the proposed Buckhorn Village in a recent Times-News story. The project still has a ton of question marks hovering over it.
I’m kind of torn about the project: On the one hand I like the possibility of having a movie theater or restaurants merely three miles away from me. Then again, I don’t like the idea of not being able to see stars at night because of the streetlights that will probably accompany such project.
Well, listen up developer. You want my blessing? Here’s my demands:
Restaurants
Eastern Alamance and western Orange is exhausted with Chinese and Mexican restaurants. What we need is an Indian eatery. And a 24-hour place at that. I mean, why should the Iron Skillet be my only option at 3 a.m.? And why do I have to drive to Chapel Hill or Durham to get my Indian fix? This area is screaming for such a place.
Also, I want a 24-hour Allen & Son restaurant. Nothing too fancy, of course. A table, a bottle of sauce, a smoker, an iced tea maker and some of that proof-of-god’s-existence barbecue. If Allen says no then go after the Barbecue Joint guy.
Retail stores
Where Cabela’s is suppose to go, I want a record store. A record store so big and extensive that there would be places to camp out at in between rows. A trip to the record store would require a couple days off from work. The store would stock original, pristine copies of Blue Cheer and The Godz albums for no more than $12 and not the $30 repressings on 180 grams of vinyl.
A video rental store that stocks nothing but trashy B-movies and horror films from the 50s-70s. This would have to be a 24-hour place as well because who knows when I may want to have a Russ Meyer film festival at my house?
Movie Theater
Fine, have your 12-screen Olympus Mon of theaters, BUT three screens have to be set aside:
One screen would have to show classic movies that I never got to see on big screen: “The Godfather,” all Kubrick, Ed Wood, Russ Meyer, Billy Jack and Scorcese films, “Spinal Tap,” “Citizen Kane,” “Xanadu”…oh, wait, I saw that one.
The second screen would be dedicated to music films such as “The Last Waltz,” “Isle of Wight,” “Gimme Shelter” and “Woodstock.” State of the art sound equipment needed and plenty o’ volume.
And as a public service, the third screen would be a continous loop of “Up In Smoke,” “Reefer Madness,” “Dune” and “Gus,” the 1976 movie about a field-goal kicking mule. This screen will keep stoners busy and off the streets.
